"Who am I, exactly?"

Novel: Turtles All the Way Down 

Author: John Green

Blogger: Emma Walton

It’s not every day that one sets out on a quest with their best friend to uncover a mystery involving the disappearance of a shady, neighborhood billionaire who is, circumstantially, also the father of one’s childhood friend and soon-to-be love interest; but then again, most teenagers are not like Aza Holmes. Suffering from a severe and ruthlessly incessant anxiety disorder, protagonist, Aza, proves to be caught up in a perpetual spiral of confusion, leaving her to question, on the daily, the authenticity of her own existence. Using the extra layer of complexity that Aza’s ever-worsening condition provides to the story, John Green’s dramatic and deliberately bittersweet novel, Turtles All the Way Down, serves to explore the classically adolescent struggle one experiences in attempting to locate and define one’s identity.

Gradually morphing into a love story that both speaks to and extends far beyond the romantic interpretation of love, Green leaves the reader with a cuttingly simple yet refreshingly surprising response to the question Aza had been constantly asking all along: “You remember your first love because they show you, prove to you, that you can love and be loved, that nothing in this world is deserved except for love, that love is both how you become a person, and why … I, a singular pronoun, would go on, if always in a conditional sense” (285). Here, Green suggests that who one is, is found through the way in which one endures life for those he or she loves, whether that love may come in the form of family, friends, or a romantically involved partner. Contrary to the traditional definition of identity, the author explains that it is not who a person is when he or she is standing alone that makes up one’s identity, but, serving as almost an anchor, it is the people in one’s life who prove to tie a person down to his or her character-defining core.

Proving to be a fantastic read for summer break, I would recommend this book to high-schoolers who are between the ages of 13 and 17. Even though its target audience may specifically appeal to those who, like Aza, suffer from anxiety disorders, the novel’s interesting and easy-to-follow storyline accompanied by a unique and thoughtful take on the concept of identity is perfect for all young people who are also navigating through the confusion involved in becoming a distinctly independent individual.

If you have ever, even for a second, contemplated the question “who am I, exactly?”, then John Green’s Turtles All the Way Down is a novel that, I assure, will not disappoint you.